My Boyfriend Has Commitment Issues
“My boyfriend says he has commitment issues.” Some people with gamophobia, which is the fear of marriage and commitment, are afraid of making commitments. Those who suffer from it often avoid long-term relationships because they are afraid of being committed. While it’s common to want to keep a relationship going, commitment anxiety can make it hard to put yourself out there or take the next logical step.
This apprehension could be the result of a number of factors, including worries about being rejected, fears about what one has to offer a potential partner or an overall wariness of relationships based on one’s past experiences.
So, what to do when your partner has commitment issues?
- Discover a powerful set of words called “Devotion Sequence” that make a man lust uncontrollably for you (even if he says he’s not interested)…Read more at The Devotion System
9 Signs My Boyfriend Has Commitment Issues
What are the signs your boyfriend has commitment issues?
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He enjoys being a single man.
The fear of commitment can cause some men to avoid relationships, but they may not make that obvious. Rather, they show it by making the carefree life of a single person sound like a dream.
Perhaps he enjoys staying home on a Weekend and relaxing with a tortilla and a computer game in his small apartment. Or perhaps he despises the concept of being “domesticated” and yearns for a life of freedom and spontaneity. Or maybe he is constantly daydreaming about quitting his job and moving to Asian countries to join the locals in their nightly street parties.
Those are the kinds of things a guy considers when he has no interest in pursuing a committed relationship. (Yes, you can go on a trip together, but if he mentions going on a solo trip, you know he’s probably dreaming of a variety of stag do activities that aren’t conducive to a long-term relationship).
2. You go days without contact from him.
Commitment-averse people enjoy closeness every once in a while, but they often withdraw to fiercely defend their freedom.
Men are human, too, despite the fact that we’re all different and many couples have vastly different demands when it comes to interaction time per week. And if a man wants to keep you in his life, he will keep in touch.
One of the signs your partner has commitment issues is he will try to put distance between the two of you if he disappears for days or even a week without answering the phone or suggesting a plan.
Even if he’s incredibly busy with work and other commitments, he should at least occasionally see how you’re doing and give you a call to see if everything’s all right.
3. When his friends are in serious relationships, he makes fun of them.
He’s horrified to learn that one of his close friends is getting married. He complains that his married or committed friends are boring. He has no idea what he’s doing when it comes to dating.
These are just red flags; they don’t necessarily mean he’s a commitment-phobe.
If a man consistently acts dismissive toward the prospect of marriage or long-term commitment, it’s probably because he has no intention of pursuing either.
4. He never ever brings up the future.
Men who fear commitment despise making plans with women that extend beyond two weeks.
The reason for this is that despite his best efforts, he has never been able to imagine himself in a committed relationship.
Perhaps he’s just getting old and forgetful. Perhaps his professional life has become his sole focus. And maybe he’s just looking to expand his sexual horizons before settling down. Perhaps he has experienced heartbreak in the past and now has negative associations with romantic relationships.
The point is that he avoids discussing the future because he is unsure whether or not he wants to include other people in his plans.
Thus, he does not want you to get your hopes up. And it’s not that he doesn’t enjoy your company; he’s just worried that if you start acting like his “real girlfriend,” he’ll start to feel guilty.
5. He always claims to be “having fun”
There’s no mistaking this one. If a man uses phrases like:
“Right now, I’m just enjoying myself.”
“At this time in my life, I am thoroughly enjoying the dating scene.”
“I don’t like to put too much pressure on labels.”
Without a doubt, all of these are just euphemisms for his phobia of commitment.
He’s basically asking for a pass to prevent getting involved in a relationship, and two months from now, when you eventually ask him where he perceives this going, he’ll bring up those words and make sure you remember them.
If you take the time to listen to the hints he’s dropping now, you can avoid being let down later.
6. He doesn’t waste his time trying to impress you.
When a guy doesn’t put in much effort on a date, it’s a code for “don’t misunderstand me.”
Of course, it’s also possible that he’s just not into you and isn’t willing to commit to anything serious because of it.
It’s also possible that he has feelings for you but is trying to avoid becoming too attached to you by not giving much thought to your dates.
You can tell he’s not interested in a long-term commitment if, after going out on a few dates, all he wants to do is invite you over for Netflix and chill.
7. His romantic history appears to be nonexistent.
This depends on how old he is, but if he’s over 30 and doesn’t seem to have been in a relationship before, he’s either never been in a relationship before or isn’t good at the whole “commitment thing.”
Although saying this may sound judgmental, a man over a certain age should at the very least be able to talk about an ex or a serious partner who meant something to him by this stage of his life.
8. It scares him to death to meet your family and friends.
The commitment-phobe will go to great lengths to keep his life separate from yours. He sees social gatherings with loved ones as just inviting more chaos into his life.
In light of his preference for cleanliness, he would rather not have lunch with you and your best friend.
So after months of dating, if he breaks out in a cold sweat at the prospect of meeting your inner circle, he has issues with getting too close.
9. When he’s in your presence, he’s very cautious about what he says.
After months of dating, if he still can’t bring himself to tell you how much he cares or is uncomfortable with the idea of showing too much affection, it may be because he is afraid of being accused of leading you on.
Men who fear commitment may be attracted to you, but they may not want to risk hurting your feelings by being too open about it.
- Why men are terrified to tell you the truth about what they feel…And how to get him to finally open his heart and be completely vulnerable with you just by whispering 4 simple “heart opener” words in his ear…Read more at Make Him Worship You.
My Boyfriend Has Commitment Issues – What To Do?
When your boyfriend has commitment issues, this is what you can do.
Seek to Understand Their Relationship Objectives.
Individuals who fear commitment are typically serial daters who engage in a number of casual relationships. Therefore, it is imperative that you inquire as to their relationship expectations and make it clear what your own expectations are.
The two of you need to check in and see if they are in harmony. Problems arise when asking such questions because the respondent might be intentionally evasive or might cleverly change the subject.
Make a plan for yourself.
A commitment-phobe enjoys extending the honeymoon phase of a relationship for as long as possible, so YOU need to decide how long you’re willing to wait before moving on.
Consider whether your relationship feels like a commitment as opposed to a casual affair. If your potential spouse insists on dragging out the courtship forever, it’s probably time to move on.
You should prioritize your own needs.
A person who has a fear of commitment in one area of their life probably has the same fear in other areas; your partner’s reluctance to commit isn’t unique to your relationship.
Many commitment-phobes follow their own rhythms and don’t worry too much about how their cool demeanor affects those around them.
This shows they are primarily concerned with themselves when they act in this way. The best thing you can do in a relationship is to always make sure your needs are being met.
If you’re the only one putting in work in the relationship, it’s time to reevaluate whether you’re both happy with the status quo or whether you should part ways.
Avoid Hassling Them.
Actually, you do need to be patient if you love this person and want to be with them for the long haul.
How to deal with a man with commitment issues? Show them by your actions how rewarding it is to stick with people and things. Acknowledge the gesture of commitment, even if it’s as small as a dinner when it’s extended to you.
Realize you’re dealing with a complicated person and adjust your expectations accordingly, or move on to someone who values commitment.
Just give them some room to breathe.
What to do if my boyfriend has commitment issues? You should take a step back if your commitment-averse boyfriend only wants to hang out when it’s convenient for them and never suggests going on dates.
When dating someone with commitment issues, my recommendation is to back off and let your commitment-phobe come to you when they’re ready to make plans. When someone pulls back, it can be very telling as to whether or not they want to make an effort to continue communicating with you.
And if you don’t like the fact that they’ve taken more than two weeks to get back to you, it’s time to decide if you wish to be their last priority.
Make an effort to get them to share more of themselves.
For many people, the thought of making a long-term commitment is too terrifying because of a bad experience in the past or a painful breakup with an ex.
Their reluctance to commit stems from an irrational worry about being hurt. Working on deeper and more open communication is an excellent approach for dealing with somebody who may have been hurt in the past or hasn’t had much of an example of a healthy relationship.
You can help your commitment-phobe make progress by having stimulating conversations with them in which neither of you passes judgment or criticizes the other.
Please don’t keep bugging them about it.
You’ll only drive them further away with your persistent “why can’t you commit?” probing.
Since they are the ones suffering from the phobia, it is best to let them initiate the conversation on their own. Without a doubt, this requires a great deal of persistence. Tell them to get back to you when they’re ready to talk about it if you’re really frustrated and need to have that conversation.
Realize there’s a chance they won’t ever commit.
When a new relationship begins, it’s common to ignore warning signs that your partner may not ever commit.
However, this is rarely the case. And even if you succeed in getting them to commit, there’s no assurance that the relationship will last.
As long as you don’t have tunnel vision or are too blinded by love, you’ll be able to figure out if the individual is worth the effort.
Do not surrender your life.
Having a commitment-phobe as a partner makes it even more important to stay close to your friends.
When you do things without your CP partner, you show them that committing to you isn’t a one-way street.
The real phobe needs reassurance that the room isn’t closing in on them. To rephrase, it demonstrates that they are committed to you without feeling trapped.
- The Devotion System will reveal the three psychological loopholes that will make a man fantasize about spending the rest of his life with you.
Do Guys With Commitment Issues Come Back?
If a Love Addict leaves a Commitment Phobe, it can be a big wake-up call for him. Sometimes it’s the only thing that will get through to someone who’s a Commitment Phobe. Possibly he will return with a sincere desire to make amends.
- How to make him commit? The “Devotion Sequence” let you plant a seed of devotion in his mind, you can get him to commit right now, read more at The Devotion System
My Boyfriend Has Commitment Issues by Theresa Alice