How to Ask a Guy out Without Getting Rejected
You probably know it: you met a very nice man and he seems almost perfect.
He is smart, attractive, funny and everything clicks between you. Every time you see him you feel happy inside again. You would love to have a drink with him sometime, but he hasn’t asked you out yet.
The subtle hints you give him don’t seem so subtle anymore, but it just doesn’t happen.
Wait for a little longer then? But it’s so nice that you don’t want to wait anymore. “We match so well, how is it that he hasn’t asked me out yet? You think to yourself.
Sigh … actually he is too nice to keep waiting longer. “You know what, I just ask him out!”, You tell yourself.
But how do you invite a man out?
In this article you will learn:
- 7 simple tips to ask him out.
- Why he hasn’t asked you out yet.
- Why some men are just like turtles.
- How to reduce the chance of rejections.
- How to make him enthusiastic about your proposal.
Remember this well before you ask him out
I understand you might think: “Does he like me if he doesn’t ask me out?” Think of a romantic film.
Take a whole cliché romantic film in your head .
Man and woman meet each other, it clicks, the man asks the woman for a date, it clicks even more, later some drama comes, they separate, they come together again, the man asks the woman to marry … and they live happily ever after.
But imagine the same film, but where the roles are slightly reversed.
The woman is a bit shy and asks the man out. After the break-up comes the makeup and it clicks completely again.
The woman goes on one knee and asks the man to marry a beautiful ring.
Sounds a bit crazy, don’t you think? 😉
Well, the strange thing is that it doesn’t have to be that strange at all. There is a kind of social image that, in general, the man takes the first step when it comes to asking questions.
This also applies to larger things, such as making a marriage proposal.
In addition, I regularly receive emails from men asking how they can ask a woman out, how they can address her or simply what the first ‘ move ‘ should be.
Women send me a lot fewer questions like this. How come?
Men just want to be able to do things. They want to put that cabinet together, they want to be the strongest and they want to conquer you.
And tell yourself, how attractive is it if the one man you know has a crush on you and takes the initiative to ask you out and seduce you?
And yet … they don’t always do that.
“What inspires men, why do they work so complicated?” Look, men have a big ego but at the same time, that ego is incredibly fragile. Most men do not dare to take the risk of losing the nice woman they want to conquer.
In short: yes, I agree with you, most men are just crazy.
The fact that he has not yet asked you out can simply mean that he feared that his ego will be cracked.
So remember this: the fact that he has not yet asked you out does not necessarily mean that he does not like you. It can simply mean that he finds it a bit too scary.
He might even like you very much, but he would rather not go crazy;). A ‘no’ can mean a big dent in his ego for him.
Then just wait until he has gathered his courage and can fulfill his job as a man by asking you out?
Absolutely not! We are going to make sure that you can ask him out today without making him feel less masculine.
Sit back and read these tips, you too can take the initiative! Let’s start!
7 simple tips on How to Ask a Guy out Without Getting Rejected.
Tip 1: Stop waiting
Imagine waiting for the bus and you are lucky that a nice man is waiting next to you. Nice to look at, but how cool would it be to get to know this man better?
Most women will never take this step.
Most men don’t either. When you meet someone nice, it usually comes down to waiting for the other person to make the first move. Whether it’s a casual conversation at the bus stop or asking someone out.
We humans naturally prefer to wait rather than take immediate action.
You can blame your ancestors for this. And no, I don’t mean your grandparents. No, your ancestors of the way back. Your prehistory ancestors.
Imagine that you are now in primeval times. And yes, I understand that you cannot read online blogs in the prehistoric times, but it is just about the imagery;).
In prehistoric times, everything is dangerous. There are dangerous animals everywhere, the plant that you have just touched can be poisonous and addressing a stranger from an unknown tribe can kill you.
But the most important thing is that prehistoric times have programmed us to choose the safe way and wait. Taking unnecessary risks by addressing an unknown person could, therefore, mean death.
However, that is no longer the case!
So you no longer have to protect yourself. You can safely take that step and ask that man out without scary prehistoric scenes happening. Evolution has taught us to always choose the safe path.
The safe way is the boring way. It could just be that if you now choose the safe way, that date with that nice guy won’t come and that would be a shame.
Because even in 2019 there is a very big danger.
Okay, maybe not such a big danger as in the good old days. But another danger, a danger that enters your head and stays with you for a long time. That danger has a name.
I’m sorry. I’m talking about real regret.
You don’t want to look back on a life you regret later.
If you wait too long and choose the safe road, then it could be that nothing happens. And again, that doesn’t have anything to do with you, but we men aren’t always supermen when it comes to taking the first steps.
All because of that primal time and evolution.
But prehistoric times are a thing of the past, just as regretting that you didn’t ask him is a thing of the past.
Look, rejections are terrible but …
… if you want to become better at something, you have to go for it.
If you have had the guts to ask him out, you will never be left with a ‘what would have happened if I had asked him out …’ feeling.
And if you’ve asked him out and he says no, that’s not nice, but you might notice one thing.
The world is still turning.
Rejections are not the end of the world. How many women have the guts to actually ask a man out. Whatever his answer to your proposal is: you can be proud that you have more guts than most women.
Tip 2: How to reduce the chance of a rejection
“Okay … regret is indeed not nice but a rejection either” I hear you think.
And you are right, rejections are no fun for anyone. Whether you are a man with an ego or a woman who will take the exciting step of asking someone out.
Although rejections are sometimes a necessary evil, it is nice to know how to reduce the chance that they will occur.
Have I ever told you about men with their big egos? ;). You can use that ego to your advantage.
It is important to remember that the man wants to remain the leader. It is therefore beneficial to ensure that he asks you out. But how do you do that if it just doesn’t happen?
Before answering this question, it is important to remember that men are like turtles.
Imagine a shy turtle. This turtle relaxes in its shell all day on the beach and does not actually come out unless it is sure it is safe.
Most men are just like turtles.
They remain safe in our shield and they only come out when they are sure that it is safe to ask the woman.
Because if you make sure that he asks you out, you will increase his underlying sense of leadership and, as you have since discovered, that is exactly what he wants.
So how do you make Mr. Turtle feel safe enough to crawl out of guilt and ask you out?
Very simple: give the man the feeling that he can be a real man with you.
You can do this very simple, for example, by making it clear that you are impressed by him or by asking him if he helps you to move that heavy cupboard for a while, because he is so strong.
In short: compliment him on what he can do and what he looks like and also ask him for help occasionally. Even the biggest egos need an ego boost now and then.
This, of course, does not mean that you have to bomb him all day with compliments. I have enough male students who went wrong there. They gave the woman in question too many compliments.
Conversely, it works just like women always give compliments to men. People are attracted to things that are not easy to get.
See the compliments as a kind of tool to give him that little push for a moment so that he asks you out, without you necessarily having to do that.
The more you cares about his ego and the more you can stir up that underlying sense of leadership with him, the greater the chance that he will ask you out.
It is time for the turtle to leave its safe shield.
Tip 3: Combine your wish with your busy schedule!
Perhaps you have already applied some of the above suggestions from tip 2 and have already been trying to give him a sense of masculinity so that he can take the step of asking you out.
In that case: doing well, you are a real natural talent;).
However, it may be that Prince Charming has still not fully understood your hints. Believe me, I understand that this can be frustrating;).
However, there is no need! It may be that the turtle still does not feel safe enough to come out of its shell. It could also be that the turtle looks more like a silly donkey and has still not caught your subtle hints.
No worries. I know from experience that there are more men who have difficulty with subtle hints. However, it does mean that you as a woman now have to take the initiative a little more with questioning, otherwise, it may take a long time before something actually happens.
And, since you are reading this article, I assume that is not something you want;).
All this does not necessarily mean that you still have to take the leadership role and ask him out of the blue for a date. Asking for a date can be a lot more subtle.
I can imagine that you have a busy schedule. Working, exercising, having a drink with friends, etc. The great thing about this is that you can easily combine your plans with asking out that one nice man.
Suppose you were planning to go to an exhibition in a museum, you can easily ask him along by saying the following:
“I intend to go to this exhibition but I have no one to go with, do you feel like going along?”
The nice thing about asking someone this way is that it seems very spontaneous. That exhibition was already in your agenda.
And even if it wasn’t in your agenda, he obviously doesn’t know that 😉
Questioning him in this way is less exciting and more casual because it seems like a very spontaneous idea to ask him. You can make it even easier by saying, for example, that you would go with a friend, but unfortunately, she canceled.
A small white lie is not bad at all here!
Remember this little thing …
Asking him out this way naturally has the best chance of succeeding if you do something that you both like.
It may sound very logical, but the chance that someone says “Yes” to your request to take him to a museum while he doesn’t like art at all is of course quite small.
Tip 4: The danger of the ‘bro zone’
Small question from my inbox:
“Hey, there is a boy in my training who I do like.” We often go to the same concerts together, we have the same humor and I interact a lot with his friends. We are in a very close group, and a number of boys from that group joked about what it would be like if I had a relationship with that boy. The boy I have a crush on then started to laugh loudly and gave me a friendly hug, after which he said he didn’t even think about it and sees me as just a good friend. What should I do now?”
Ai, this is a difficult situation. It comes down to the fact that the man in question sees this woman as friends and nothing more. In this case, it can be difficult to ask someone out on a date with a deeper meaning than just being friendly.
You may have heard about the friendzone. Men are only too happy to use this term if they like a woman who is not interested in him and sees him as a friend.
Conversely, this situation can of course also occur.
Instead of friendzone, I call the reverse situation bro zone. Because ‘bro’ is often used by men as a synonym for ‘good friend’.
But back to the above situation that you want to prevent if you want to ask him out. There are roughly two main reasons why the bro zone is:
- Your intentions were not clear to him.
- You do not come across as feminine enough that he has come to see you as one of the guys.
Let’s logically start with the first point. Your intentions were not clear to him, so over time, he started to see you as a friend.
This may be because you have not taken any steps (yet) to have him ask you out or you have not asked him out yet.
Fortunately, something can be done about this, as you could read in the earlier tips.
However, it may also be because you have not treated him flirty enough.
Think again about the turtle. The turtle only comes out of its shield when it is safe. Apart from complimenting him or asking him for favors so that he can take on his masculine role, it is also important to simply flirt with him.
Flirting makes your intentions much clearer, so he knows where he stands.
You can apply this flirting right away and you can use it subtly in daily life, for example by touching it.
Research has shown that non-verbal cues such as touching or maintaining eye contact help create attraction for a longer period of time.
Be the woman he wants to date, not one of his friends with whom he wants to watch football and drink beer
Another reason why he hasn’t asked you out yet and why it may be more difficult for you to ask him out is because you don’t come across as feminine enough.
I know, it may sound a bit superficial, but that’s how men can be. In addition, you can very easily come across as more feminine, without having to wear yourself in a dress and decorate yourself with liters of makeup.
Let’s start with the behavior.
In addition, men are visually oriented.
This is further explained in various scientific sources.
Have you ever met a man who loved the book 50 Shades of Gray?
The probability is in all likelihood quite small. Yes, men love sex, but men are visually minded, which is why they prefer to grab porn rather than read a book.
No matter how superficial it may seem, by taking good care of your appearance, and wearing nice, attractive clothing when you are in his neighborhood, he is more likely to take the initiative to ask you out.
You are a nice woman and the combination of your behavior and your nice appearance makes it clear to him that you are more than just a friend.
If you want him to get the feeling that he is going to date with a nice, sweet woman, it’s best to dress up nicely and feminine.
That is, of course, depend on your own style, but leave the training pants and hoodies in the closet;).
Making your behavior as well as your appearance a bit more feminine in combination with flirtatious behavior can cause him to ask you out sooner because he will then see you less as one of the guys .
In addition, it is also beneficial if you want to ask him out, because your intentions are much clearer. This reduces the step considerably to ask him out.
Tip 5: Use the technology to your advantage!
Do you remember the hidden moral of the first tip?
Be happy that you live in 2019!
And not only because we are (fortunately) no longer primordial people. 😉
If in the past you wanted to ask someone out, you had no other choice but to present it personally to the person you saw.
Because it is not so often that the woman asks the man out, you can do that as an element of surprise if you want to take him out.
Of course, I also understand that this method requires the most guts and is therefore perhaps a little scary to do 😉
The beauty of today’s technology is that it’s very easy to ask someone out without having to take the big step to do that face to face.
In addition, it is, of course, more difficult to ask someone out in real life if the man in question lives on the other side of the country. In this case, today’s technology offers a solution.
Nowadays there are of course many different types of social media that you can use to your advantages such as Facebook, Twitter or WhatsApp.
Which medium you are going to use to ask him out does not really matter that much.
If you are in possession of his number, it is best to simply call him. This shows assertiveness on your part, and if you use the method of tip 3 for this, you are more likely to receive a ‘yes’ to your proposal.
You can of course also use the chat function like WhatsApp or facebook.
If you want to do this, it is important to also apply the aforementioned tips while chatting. This means that you ensure that he asks you out via chat.
This is best achieved by complimenting him via chat and responding enthusiastically if he sends you a message.
You can combine this with subtle hints as described in tip 2.
If you have chatted for several consecutive days (say 5 to 7 days) and he still has not taken any action, it is best to ask him out with the help of tip 3 🙂
The way to make him beg for a relationship and he doesn’t want to leave you anymore
So, these were the 5 tips you can apply today to ask him out!
Do you want to know more about how to improve your relationship with him?
Then I have fantastic news for you!
- You can learn how to influence a man’s innermost emotions, how you can REALLY understand what he feels and the 2 things that you can do MAKING a man unable to resist you. Check this out here