He Doesn’t Initiate Text Anymore – Possible Reasons!

He Doesn’t Initiate Text Anymore

Are you frustrated over “My boyfriend never texts me first, but always replies“? It’s frustrating to feel like you have to initiate everything in your relationship, whether it’s talking about a touchy subject or getting physical.

The same can be said for texting; it’s arguably the most widespread form of modern communication. It’s understandable to feel insecure or even irritated when your boyfriend never initiates text conversations.

Does that mean they don’t think about you as much as you think about them? Is it that they simply don’t like to text? What does it mean when a guy doesn’t initiate conversation?

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He Doesn't Initiate Text Anymore image

He Doesn’t Initiate Text Anymore

Why a guy doesn’t initiate contact? Here are some possible reasons.

1. He doesn’t see anything unusual about it.

He never texts me first but always replies. This happened to me once with an ex, and I remember being very frustrated with him because I started to feel like I was constantly the one initiating communication by starting phone calls or setting up a Video call.

It’s possible that your man views this as the norm in your relationship. If you’ve never told him you don’t like what he’s doing, why should he make a change?

Someone must send the first message, right?

2. He really is busy!

Really, some men are just too busy to respond to text messages.

This is not a joke but a genuine explanation for why he hasn’t contacted you first.

Have you ever been so preoccupied with other things that you glanced down at your phone to see a text message come in, told yourself, “I’ll reply to that later,” and then completely forgot to do so? Indeed, such things do occur!

It’s common to stress out over a guy not responding because you’re imagining every scenario in which he wouldn’t.

It’s annoying, but he can’t make you his top priority all the time. You can let him know how you feel, but you can’t expect a response every two minutes or to be the one to initiate communication all the time.

It’s possible he’s too preoccupied with other things, or suffering from extreme anxiety and withdrawing from society, to pay much attention to you.

3. You aren’t giving him a fair shot at this.

Let’s say you sent him the last message in a chat. You decide you want to continue talking to him later, but he hasn’t yet initiated contact.

Sometimes it’s frustrating, but that might be because your last message put a stop to the conversation.

He may be feeling confused because you aren’t providing him with enough opportunities to initiate or continue conversations.

Nobody wants to text someone who seems busy and annoyed.

Take another look at your correspondence with him to ensure you haven’t inadvertently shut down communication or given the impression that you’re not interested in keeping the conversation going.

4. To put it bluntly, your chats are boring.

Whether you’re texting your date of the future or your three-year boyfriend, things can get dull at some point.

As expected! Since we can’t always be engaged in activities that would warrant a text message, our conversations may shift to more mundane topics, such as how you slept, what you ate for breakfast, and the recent on that person you hate at work.

It’s wonderful that you two still feel the need to share thoughts and ideas, but you might be getting a little bored with this.

Conversations may have slowed down a bit if you’ve been having a lot of boring ones recently.

It doesn’t mean they’re not interested in you; they might just be saving up for something really exciting to tell you about.

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5. Maybe he’s seeing someone else in the meantime.

Sorry to break it to you, but this one could be correct.

He may be preoccupied with somebody else if he doesn’t seem interested in you or initiate conversation very often.

Although you have every right to express your disappointment, you cannot reasonably reprimand him for his infidelity if you and he had previously agreed that it is acceptable for either of you to see other people.

It’s ridiculous, but it could explain why he’s so distant and never initiates contact with you.

6. He isn’t interested in a long-term commitment.

When it comes to their so-called “relationships,” some men prefer to play it cool and keep things on the surface.

It’s possible he doesn’t want to appear too forward by texting you first if he’s never done so before. He’s maintaining some distance because he doesn’t want things to get too serious between the two of you.

If this is true, it’s upsetting, but it also helps you see where you stand.

You can choose to stay with him and accept that he won’t care about you the way you’d like him to, or you can realize that you deserve better and look elsewhere.

7. He is playing games.

We’re not implying that all guys are players, but this is a common excuse they give for not being the one to initiate the first text.

It’s possible he’s just loving the ego boost that comes from you showing interest in him and is playing mind games with you.

Even though it’s frustrating and perplexing when guys do this, try to remember that he’s just playing games with you.

If he really cares about you, after a few failed attempts at not being the first to text, he will come charging back, seriously concerned that you’ve moved on.

And if he doesn’t, you’ll know where you stand and how he feels.

8. He has his barriers up.

Perhaps he, like some women, has been hurt by rejection in the past and now fears it.

It’s easy to forget that, in this respect, men are essentially no different from women.

Most of us worry about being accepted in the real world and not just on Tinder when we’re out on a date. We worry that the person we have feelings for doesn’t really like us and will reject us.

As a result, we tighten our defenses and take a step back. It’s a common tactic for self-defense, even though it’s not great for one’s well-being.

In spite of his reluctance to initiate contact via text message, he will always respond to you if you send him a message.

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9. He is a very reserved person.

Macho men are often portrayed in mainstream culture as emotionless and arrogant.

But you should take into account the possibility that he is simply shy.

It’s possible he hasn’t gone on many dates before, or that he’s very insecure and has no idea how to strike up meaningful conversations or hold your attention.

He likes me but never initiates contact? He is letting you take charge and establish the pace because he believes that this is the most secure course of action.

10. He wants to avoid coming off as needy.

My crush never texts me first, he may have been blamed by an ex-partner for being overly needy or clingy.

After being falsely accused of such a thing, he tends to pull back and try to act calm and collected.

When a guy responds but doesn’t initiate, he likes you but is trying to be shy and reserved if he never texts you first but is eager to talk once you initiate the conversation.

11. Sad to say, he’s not really into you.

If I don’t text first we won’t talk. He might not be interested in you very much if he isn’t the one to initiate text messages.

A rejection hurts, but it’s liberating to know that he isn’t as interested in you as you are in him.

It’ll take some time to recover, but knowing where you stand is crucial for moving forward.

If he stopped initiating contact, there’s a chance he’ll respond to you out of good manners or awkwardness, however, if something feels off, you should talk to him about it.

It could be any of the above reasons, of course – we’re not saying you’re doomed! – but he might also not text first because he doesn’t care enough to.

Don’t worry, you’ll find someone who can’t wait to tell you about things, who double-texts you, and who is not afraid to tell you how much he likes you.

12. You scare the crap out of him.

If he never initiates text conversations but always responds, he may be frightened of you.

After all, your introductory messages are always so entertaining and engaging! Some men, accustomed to being ‘in control’ on dates, may find that disconcerting.

They may not know how to react if they have never been the recipient of a double text or message from a girl.

They probably aren’t sure how to play things quite right and are trying extra hard to make a good impression. They’re giving you the reins, but their interest in you is undeniable.

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He Replies But Doesn’t Ask Questions

When a man doesn’t ask questions, what does that say about him? It’s also possible that he’s too focused on himself, has poor social skills, is antisocial or only interested in himself, and wants a one-night stand rather than a serious commitment.

Lacks the social skills necessary to sustain a relationship with another person.

Does it raise red flags if a man doesn’t ask you questions?

If he does not ask questions and only speaks about himself, this is a major red flag. A lack of questions indicates a lack of curiosity, not just a deficiency in conversational skills.

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He Doesn’t Initiate Text Anymore by Theresa Alice