Reasons To Save a Marriage
Is your marriage stressful? Is quitting and starting over really the answer to a “bad” marriage? Are you looking for ways to save your marriage from divorce? Or are you asking, “Why do I want to save my marriage?
It is possible for two people who once were madly in love to drift apart due to difficulties and conflicts, and they are frequently left wondering what to do next. Unfortunately, many people choose to end their relationships, but this does not have to be the case.
Why Did You Get Married?
Marriage should be kept together for the original reason you married. Marriages go through ups and downs, and things may appear bleak right now, but this could be an indication that a little reflection will help you.
Why did you decide to marry in the first place? You were justified at the time. You had a positive feeling, a strong connection, and a lot of passion. You got married for a reason.
Whatever the reasons were for your marriage, they were compelling enough for you to enter into such a significant commitment at the time of your marriage. For example, perhaps the marriage resulted from an unplanned pregnancy; if so, you agreed to marry for the sake of the kid.
If a child was the driving force behind the marriage, then your daughter or son is sufficient justification for continuing to fight for marriage even after they have grown up and moved away from home.
The bottom line is that you were in a relationship that was once vibrant and meaningful, and it can be that manner again.
It’s Normal to Have Difficulties
Every married couple goes through “the fire” (hard times) and either ends up broken or stronger together.
While attending a wedding ceremony & eating the wedding cake is wonderful, it is necessary to go through some difficult times in order to truly become married. If you can stick to your commitment, it’ll make you appreciate it even more.
When the honeymoon period is over and the conflicts begin, the real marriage begins. Conflicts provide us with the opportunity to grow and learn.
It is not uncommon in marriage to become irritated with your partner, to step on each other’s toes, and to argue, but it is in these times that we develop into the people we should be.
We learn important adult skills through conflict, like interaction, learning to work in a team, and learning to be respectful and accept others as they are.
Maintaining your commitment to your marriage during times of conflict strengthens your marriage and helps you mature into an adult.
Divorce Has Consequences
It is critical to remember that every decision has consequences. Divorce may appear to be a solution to a problem, but it is frequently the beginning of new problems.
A divorce can bring about new problems that far outweigh the problems that you were already dealing with during your marriage, according to many experts. For instance, your marriage may be struggling because you haven’t fully matured in intellect or understanding, but divorce will not solve this problem; instead, it will be carried over to your next relationship.
It will be necessary to address the issues that are currently interfering with your marriage at some point if you want any of the relationships in which you are involved to have a realistic chance of succeeding.
In fact, second marriages are more likely to fail than first marriages. The more a person marries, the more likely he or she will be separated or divorced.
When children are involved, the situation becomes even more critical. The decision will not only affect you and your partner, but it will also have unintended consequences for them.
It is difficult for anyone to deal with a divorce, but it is disastrous for children. Children raised in divorced homes are more prone to drop out of school, land in jail or prison, and experience more physiological & mental health problems than children raised in stable families.
It comes down to this: You made promises to each other when you entered into your marriage. Keeping promises usually has fewer consequences than trying to break them.
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4 Good Reasons To Save a Marriage
What are the reasons to save your marriage?
Divorce only “resolves” half of the issue.
Marriage issues are rarely one-sided. Typically, each spouse makes a significant contribution to the dissatisfaction of the other. When married people leave a marriage, they bring their problems with them to the next one.
Divorce is costly.
If managed without an attorney, the real cost of divorce may be as low as a few hundred dollars. When attorneys are involved, the costs can quickly escalate into thousands of dollars. Variable expenses are difficult to calculate and quickly pile up when a divorced couple must create different households.
Divorce causes life to be cut short.
Unhappiness in a marriage poses its own health risks. However, according to statistics, individuals who divorce will die 4 years earlier than happy people who are married. The probability to have a wonderful marriage decrease with every subsequent marriage.
Children suffer as a result of divorce.
While a child is unlikely to thrive in a home with unhappy parents, there is also a high risk of damage to children when their parents divorce. According to a study on the impact of divorce on children, they are at a higher risk of poor school performance, as well as depression and alcoholism when growing up.
Is My Marriage Worth Saving Quiz
Instructions: For each question, choose the answer that best reflects your feelings and experiences in your marriage. Keep track of your score as you go through the quiz. In the end, tally your score and refer to the results section for an interpretation of your score.
How often do you and your spouse communicate openly and honestly?
a) Frequently (3 points)
b) Occasionally (2 points)
c) Rarely (1 point)
Do you and your spouse support each other’s goals and dreams?
a) Yes, always (3 points)
b) Sometimes (2 points)
c) No, not really (1 point)
Are you and your spouse willing to work on your relationship?
a) Yes, both of us (3 points)
b) Only one of us (2 points)
c) Neither of us (1 point)
Is there mutual respect between you and your spouse?
a) Yes, definitely (3 points)
b) Sometimes (2 points)
c) No, respect is lacking (1 point)
How often do you and your spouse engage in activities together and enjoy each other’s company?
a) Frequently (3 points)
b) Occasionally (2 points)
c) Rarely (1 point)
How would you describe your emotional connection with your spouse?
a) Strong (3 points)
b) Moderate (2 points)
c) Weak (1 point)
How often do you and your spouse laugh together?
a) Frequently (3 points)
b) Occasionally (2 points)
c) Rarely (1 point)
Are you and your spouse able to resolve conflicts in a healthy and constructive manner?
a) Yes, most of the time (3 points)
b) Sometimes (2 points)
c) No, conflicts often escalate (1 point)
Do you trust your spouse completely?
a) Yes, without a doubt (3 points)
b) Mostly (2 points)
c) No, trust has been broken (1 point)
Are both you and your spouse committed to working through any issues that arise in your marriage?
a) Yes, both of us (3 points)
b) Only one of us (2 points)
c) Neither of us (1 point)
How satisfied are you with the level of emotional and physical intimacy in your marriage?
a) Very satisfied (3 points)
b) Somewhat satisfied (2 points)
c) Unsatisfied (1 point)
Do you feel emotionally safe and secure in your marriage?
a) Yes, always (3 points)
b) Sometimes (2 points)
c) No, not really (1 point)
Are your core values, beliefs, and goals aligned with your spouse’s?
a) Yes, very much so (3 points)
b) Somewhat aligned (2 points)
c) Not aligned at all (1 point)
How often do you and your spouse express appreciation, love, and affection for each other?
a) Frequently (3 points)
b) Occasionally (2 points)
c) Rarely (1 point)
Do you believe that your marriage has the potential to grow and improve?
a) Yes, definitely (3 points)
b) Maybe (2 points)
c) No, I don’t think so (1 point)
Results:
45-36 points: Your marriage appears to have a strong foundation, with room for growth and improvement. Both you and your spouse seem committed to working on your relationship. With open communication, mutual respect, and a willingness to face challenges together, your marriage is likely worth saving.
35-24 points: Your marriage has some positive aspects, but there are also areas where improvement is needed. Reflect on the issues that you and your spouse face and consider seeking professional help, such as couples counseling or therapy, to address those challenges. It’s essential to have open and honest conversations with your spouse about your concerns and desires for the future of your marriage. With effort from both partners, your marriage may be worth saving.
23-15 points: Your marriage is facing significant challenges, and its future may be uncertain. It’s important to have an honest discussion with your spouse about your feelings, concerns, and the state of your relationship. Consider seeking professional help, such as couples counseling or individual therapy, to gain perspective and explore the possibility of rebuilding your relationship. However, if there is a persistent lack of trust, respect, and willingness to change from one or both partners, it may be time to consider whether your marriage is worth saving or if parting ways is the best option for both of you.
Remember, this quiz is not a definitive answer to whether your marriage is worth saving or not, but it can provide some insights into the current state of your relationship.
It’s important to consider your individual circumstances, emotional well-being, and personal values when making decisions about your marriage. Consulting with a professional therapist or counselor can also be helpful in navigating these complex and deeply personal decisions.
Need Help To Save Your Marriage?
Whatever problem your marriage is experiencing, it did not happen overnight. And, in a short article, I cannot cover all of the nuances of how to save your marriage. But I can give you one thing: hope.
I have witnessed countless couples save their marriages from the most extreme situations, no matter how bad the situation appeared to be. What distinguished these people from those on the verge of destruction? They had hope, & their hope drove them to do everything they could to save their marriage.
If you want to learn more about how to save your marriage and are willing to do whatever it takes to save your marriage, check out “The ABCD System” to begin repairing your marriage right away.
You may also check out the Mend The Marriage ABCD System review here.
Reasons To Save a Marriage by Theresa Alice