10 Things That Can Destroy a Marriage

According to the National Survey of Family Growth, up to 48% of first marriages end in divorce within the first 20 years. Getting married is just like flipping a coin: heads, you remain together; tails, you divorce.

The statistic might make you believe that you’re one of the fortunate 52 %, but it’s just as possible that you’re not. In fact, chances are you’re starting to make marriage-killing mistakes on a daily basis without even realizing it.

For example, do you spend a substantial portion of your day commuting? Is it common for you to leave dirty dishes in the kitchen for your partner to clean up after themselves? Yes, all of these are major relationship no-nos. Therefore, continue reading to learn what are the things that destroys marriage.

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10 Things That Can Destroy a Marriage

1. The family:

Most couples’ top relationship stressor has little to do with their own relationship and a lot to do with the relationships around them. A couple’s role changes when they marry because they choose to prioritize their spouse over all others. Too many marriages are failing simply because of a lack of priorities, with couples being pulled in every direction except toward each other. Those in happy marriages learn to prioritize one another above everything.⠀⠀⠀⠀

2. A lack of effective communication:⠀⠀⠀⠀

True, the average couple devotes only a few minutes per day to quality conversation. It’s all too easy to let life get in the way to connect with the one you care about. The problem with living in neutral is that drifting occurs the moment we stop moving forward. Make an effort to communicate and interact with your spouse on a regular basis.⠀⠀⠀⠀

3. Stress:⠀⠀⠀⠀

It’s all too easy to take our frustrations out on our spouse. We can develop a habit of withholding emotions until we reach the comfort and safety of our marriage, and after that, we explode.

From financial difficulties to illness, job loss, and sadness, healthy couples allow stress to bring them together by relying on one another, sharing their burdens, and carrying them together.⠀⠀⠀⠀

4. Innovation in technology:⠀⠀⠀⠀

Many of us have this threatening relationship killer in our back pocket. In a world obsessed with technology, where everyone has an iPhone and is constantly posting on Facebook, it’s no surprise that we discover our time drifting away into the inanimate rather than continuing to invest it into the intimate. ⠀⠀⠀⠀

5. Self-centeredness:⠀⠀⠀⠀

Marriage is a massive, ongoing life lesson in “selflessness.” And we’ll either learn from our mistakes or become bitter as a result of them. Putting someone else before oneself is a tough challenge because our flesh is hardwired to prioritize ourselves.

Every time we say ‘yes’ to ourselves, we say no to our marriage, since marriage is about We versus Me.⠀⠀⠀⠀

6. Refusal to forgive:⠀⠀⠀⠀

There is a distinction between forgiving and forgetting. Once we fail to recognize this, we will be able to hold on to our pain for a really long time. And eventually, those wounds begin to wreak havoc on our lives from within. But forgiveness isn’t about trying to excuse the other person; it’s about allowing ourselves to be healed by the Divine who forgives us over and over again.⠀⠀⠀⠀

7. Unclear Boundaries:⠀⠀⠀⠀

We tend to focus on offensive play in marriage, overlooking the importance of defensive strategy. We can be doing everything right while still failing to keep harmful things out. Construct a protective circle around your marriage and keep it safe by guarding your feelings, your connections, and the manner you spend your time together.⠀⠀⠀⠀

8. The Past:⠀⠀⠀⠀

The most damaging thing we can do to our relationship is to start defining our spouse based on their past rather than who they are now. The past can have an impact on our lives, but it can only influence our present if we let it.

It’s important, to be honest with each other about our pasts, but it’s even more important to respect one another’s pasts. Deal with what has come before…so that you can keep moving forward.

9. Lies and deceit:⠀⠀⠀⠀

Why is a little lie as harmful as a big lie? Because they both impact intimacy. In marriage, honesty is like a chain that keeps you together.

Whether you remove one or ten links, the result is the same: separation. When it comes to your relationship, it’s time, to be honest with yourself and your partner.⠀⠀⠀⠀

10. Pride:⠀⠀⠀⠀

This is one of the 10 things that can destroy a marriage. You have to be self-aware enough to realize and correct your own weakness before focusing on your spouse’s. However, the sting of pride can end up making this extremely difficult.

It’s much easier to point fingers and shift blame. But letting go of your responsibilities and duties means letting go of your relationship because it always takes two.

It’s time to think about where you’ve let your guard down before these sneaky intruders break in. Try to identify these patterns and keep an eye out for the “small stuff” by protecting, nurturing, and prioritizing your marriage.

No matter how far gone your marriage has gotten, there is still hope for it to be saved, even if your spouse has already moved out. Give yourself a shot. You can learn more about how to achieve your ideal marriage, one that you and your spouse will cherish.

What kills love in marriage?

Lack of trust is indeed one of the most significant factors that can kill the love in a marriage. The trust serves as the foundation for any healthy relationship, providing a sense of safety, security, and emotional connection between partners.

When trust is eroded, it can lead to a variety of negative consequences that undermine the love shared between spouses. Here are a few reasons why a lack of trust can be so damaging to a marriage:

Emotional distance: When trust is lacking in a marriage, partners may feel emotionally disconnected from each other. This emotional distance can lead to feelings of loneliness and isolation, making it difficult for spouses to share their thoughts, feelings, and experiences openly.
Increased anxiety and insecurity: A lack of trust can create a sense of anxiety and insecurity in a relationship. Partners may constantly question each other’s actions and intentions, leading to a cycle of suspicion, doubt, and fear.
Breakdown of communication: Trust is essential for open and honest communication between spouses. When trust is compromised, communication may break down as partners become guarded and hesitant to share their thoughts and feelings, ultimately hindering their ability to resolve conflicts and deepen their connection.
Erosion of intimacy: Trust is a critical component of intimacy in a marriage, both emotionally and physically. When trust is damaged, partners may struggle to feel emotionally vulnerable and connected, which can negatively impact their physical intimacy and sexual relationship.
Resentment and bitterness: A lack of trust can lead to feelings of resentment and bitterness, as partners may harbor negative emotions about past betrayals or perceived slights. These feelings can fester over time, making it difficult for spouses to forgive each other and move forward in their relationship.
Loss of respect: Trust is closely tied to respect in a marriage. When trust is eroded, partners may lose respect for one another, causing them to treat each other with contempt or disregard for each other’s feelings and needs.
Decreased relationship satisfaction: Trust is a key factor in overall relationship satisfaction. When trust is lacking, spouses may feel unhappy and dissatisfied in their marriage, potentially leading to a decline in the quality of their relationship.
Increased likelihood of infidelity: A lack of trust can increase the risk of infidelity in a marriage, as partners may feel disconnected, unfulfilled, or unsupported in their relationship. This can lead to one or both spouses seeking comfort, connection, or validation outside of their marriage.

To rebuild trust in a marriage, both partners must be committed to working together, practicing open and honest communication, and demonstrating genuine remorse and accountability for any past betrayals or breaches of trust.

This process may be challenging and require time and patience, but with dedication and effort, many couples can successfully overcome trust issues and rekindle the love in their marriage.

Things a Wife Should Never Do

In a healthy marriage, both partners should work together to foster a supportive, loving, and respectful environment. While every marriage is unique, there are certain things that a wife should avoid doing to maintain a strong and harmonious relationship. Here are a few key points to consider:

Disrespecting your husband: Treating your husband with disrespect, whether through belittling comments, constant criticism, or mocking, can erode the foundation of your marriage. It’s essential to treat your partner with respect and kindness, even when you disagree or experience conflicts.
Violating trust: Trust is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. A wife should never engage in dishonest or deceitful behavior, such as lying or hiding important information from her husband. It’s crucial to be transparent and honest with your partner to maintain trust and strengthen your bond.
Ignoring your partner’s needs: Every individual has emotional, physical, and social needs that must be met for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. A wife should never disregard her husband’s needs or make him feel unimportant. Instead, strive to understand and support your partner’s needs to foster a loving and nurturing environment.
Constantly putting others before your marriage: While it’s essential to maintain friendships and family relationships, a wife should never consistently prioritize others at the expense of her marriage. Ensure that you make time for your husband and prioritize your relationship to maintain a strong and lasting bond.
Taking your spouse for granted: In a long-term relationship, it’s easy to fall into the trap of taking your spouse for granted. A wife should never assume that her husband’s love and support are guaranteed. Instead, express gratitude and appreciation for your partner’s efforts and contributions regularly.
Dismissing your husband’s opinions and feelings: It’s important to value and validates your husband’s opinions and feelings, even if you don’t always agree. A wife should never dismiss her partner’s thoughts or emotions as unimportant or invalid. Instead, practice active listening and empathy to create a safe space for open communication.
Withholding affection: Physical and emotional affection is vital for maintaining a strong connection in a marriage. A wife should never withhold affection as a means of punishment or manipulation. Ensure that you regularly express your love and affection through kind words, gestures, and physical touch.
Refusing to compromise: In any relationship, compromise is necessary for resolving conflicts and finding a middle ground that works for both partners. A wife should never be unwilling to compromise or always insist on having her way, as this can create tension and resentment.

By avoiding these behaviors, a wife can contribute to a supportive, loving, and fulfilling marriage. Remember that both partners must be willing to work together, communicate openly, and support one another for a lasting and successful relationship.

Habits That Destroy Marriage

Marriage is a lifelong partnership that requires effort, dedication, and understanding from both spouses to thrive. However, certain habits can damage the relationship, erode trust, and undermine the foundation of the marriage. Here are some habits that can destroy a marriage if left unchecked:

Poor communication: Open and honest communication is crucial for a healthy marriage. Failing to communicate effectively, avoiding difficult conversations, or resorting to passive-aggressive behavior can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and emotional distance between partners.
Dishonesty: Trust is the bedrock of any successful marriage. Habitual lying or hiding information from your spouse can severely damage trust and create an atmosphere of suspicion and insecurity.
Constant criticism: Continuously criticizing your spouse, whether it’s about their appearance, opinions, or behavior, can wear down their self-esteem and breed resentment. It’s essential to express concerns or frustrations respectfully and constructively.
Emotional or physical infidelity: Unfaithfulness, whether emotional or physical, can devastate a marriage. Straying from your commitment to your spouse can irreparably harm trust and create a rift that may be difficult to heal.
Taking your spouse for granted: Neglecting to appreciate and acknowledge the efforts and contributions of your spouse can lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction. It’s vital to express gratitude and recognize the value your spouse brings to the relationship.
Neglecting your partner’s needs: Ignoring your spouse’s emotional, physical, or social needs can cause them to feel unloved, unsupported, and disconnected. It’s important to be attentive to your partner’s needs and work together to ensure they are met.
Controlling behavior: Attempting to control or manipulate your spouse’s decisions, actions, or feelings can create an unhealthy power dynamic and foster resentment. A healthy marriage requires mutual respect and autonomy for both partners.
Holding grudges: Refusing to forgive past mistakes or continually bringing up past grievances can prevent emotional healing and growth in marriage. It’s important to address issues, forgive, and move forward together.
Lack of quality time: Spending quality time together is vital for maintaining a strong emotional connection. Consistently prioritizing work, friends, or hobbies over your spouse can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
Inability to compromise: A successful marriage requires both partners to be flexible and willing to compromise. Stubbornly insisting on having your way or refusing to find common ground can lead to ongoing conflict and dissatisfaction.

To nurture a thriving marriage, it’s crucial to be aware of these destructive habits and actively work to address them. Open communication, empathy, and a commitment to supporting one another can help couples overcome challenges and maintain a strong and loving partnership.

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10 Things That Can Destroy a Marriage by Theresa Alice